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Sick Of Losing Soulmates.

Photo: Jonas Svidras @ STEP.CAMERA

I don’t remember much stuff from my early childhood ‘cause I have terrible memory but I clearly remember being 5 and thinking that you kind of look like a small kitten. I have no idea why. And yeah I know that it sounds ridiculous now. But you did look like a kitten and I really liked you because of that. Or maybe not because of that – I was 5 and as I said I have terrible memory. But I swear I remember you so freaking clearly. I remember you better than some people I’ve talked to today. I remember being 5 and calling you my best friend. And you were, you truly were. You were the very first. But then something happened and I turned 6 and you left the kinder garden and I’ve never seen you since then. I even forgot your name.

I remember us being 11, running around the block, eating popsicles and feeling invincible. I remember you telling me stories about that one boy you liked and how your big blue eyes sparkled whenever you said his name out loud. And I simply thought it was fascinating. You were fascinating. And you somehow always managed to turn every single ordinary thing into something beautiful and interesting and exciting. I remember being really shy and closed but for some reason I always felt safe with you. And I felt like my secrets would be safe with you. And they were. I think you were the first one who showed me the undiscovered and completely new part of me that I didn’t even knew existed – you taught me how to believe in myself. And I’m forever grateful for that. But then a few years passed by, we both changed and somewhere along the line we stopped talking. I guess that happens when you’re growing up. But I still remember our beautiful moments, best friend. And I know that you do too.

I remember us at 15. And, oh girl, let me tell you – you were the biggest dreamer and achiever I have ever met. And you still are to this day and probably will be forever ‘cause I don’t think that there’s someone out there just like you. It always felt like you were out of this world. I remember you being so beautifully naïve and dreamy and always seeing the best in people – and I know that many would say that you shouldn’t be like that and that it is dangerous sometimes but you would prove them all wrong. There’s no doubt that you’ve seen the world differently than most people – always noticing bright colors, believing in fairytales. No matter how dark it gets. You showed me the whole new perspective. And besides believing in the beauty of the world you also always believed in me. You were the one to teach me how to dream. And even though we don’t talk anymore, I always remember you and your beautiful mind when the world gets too heavy.

So yeah. Sick of losing soulmates.

***

This outfit definitely screams “fall”. I really like this black denim skirt, I wore it non-stop in the summertime but with a pair of black tights it turns into a nice autumn piece. Also, you can’t forget about a faux leather jacket. I found this one in a thrift store and I’m super happy about it! And it costed only like 11 euros so that’s also cool. And plaid. There’s no fall without plaid.

Skirt – H&M
Shirt – H&M
Jacket – TOPSHOP
Bag – ZARA
Shoes – Deichmann

Photos by Jonas Svidras @ STEP.CAMERA

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Julija Svidraitė

Comments

  • Peroksidinė blondinė

    Super, laaabai nerealiai! Nors čia ne visai mano stilius, bet ir pati sutikčiau taip apsirengt, šaunuolė tu!! 🙂

    September 24, 2016 at 4:41 PM Reply
  • Gabrielė

    Labai labai labai gražu!
    ir Dodie <3

    September 24, 2016 at 5:03 PM Reply
  • Anonymous

    What a beautiful post, Julija. I know I say this every single time, but it just screams fall. And I love it. It’s not only the outfit that screams fall, it’s also the deep contemplation written down there.

    I’d really love to comfort you and have a deeper conversation with you, but we’re only strangers to each other, and it’s a pity. I have always wanted to be your friend since the day I saw you, but I have never had enough courage to go and talk to you. Even if I saw you now, I would feel so much joy in my heart, but that’s it. And it’s quite sad. You must have a truly beautiful mind. I have always thought that you and your interests are so close to me, even though we’re just strangers.

    But I guess I can still try to comfort you, by sharing my story with you and other sneaky comment-readers out there, right? I was 3 when we first met. She had such a sunny personality – she made me laugh so so hard every single day. I could only get the opportunity to see her when we happened to be at the countryside, both at the same time, our houses were next to each other. When I was 5, I accidently saw her in my kindergarden and I remember looking at each other and squeeling. We found out that our flats in Vilnius were in the same district, and we met every other day since then. She knew my wildest secrets, I knew hers. She knew every single name of my dolls, and I knew hers. Her mom knew what I liked for dinner, and my momma knew what she liked. We never went to the same school tho – she attended a russian school, while I attended a lithuanian one. We talked all the time, until I entered the sixth grade, as I remember. Something just happened – we started chatting via skype, but when I asked her out, she would always say no. And in the 7th grade, I saw her for the last time. I really wanted to wish her a happy birthday, and came to her house with a present, but she wasn’t really happy to see me – I tried to talk to her, but her attention was all gifted to the computer she had. I have only seen her again after that in bus stops, when I arrived to school, and she left to hers. She didn’t really want to say hi to me, she would always turn her face away from me. And I never knew what happened. Now she lives in London, and I guess I’ll never see her again. I wish I knew what I have done wrong.

    Also, I wish our souls met again. I believe that we’d make perfect soulmates.

    Well, except for the fact you’re a coffee maniac. I’m a tea girl. Whoopsies!

    September 24, 2016 at 5:04 PM Reply
    • Anonymous

      When I lost my best friend someone actually told me why she stoped talking to me. It was because I was boring and it made me even more sad until I realized that I would rather be boring than smoke and get drunk every weekend just to be “cool”. So I guess that turned out to be okay. But it still makes me sad to not have my best friend…

      September 25, 2016 at 1:27 PM Reply
  • Justė

    ta prasme, man žodžiais sunku apsakyt, kaip Tavimi žaviuosi… <3

    September 24, 2016 at 6:13 PM Reply
  • Anonymous

    The part about soulmates hits so close to home 👌👍

    September 24, 2016 at 6:50 PM Reply
  • Rugile's Creations

    Tavoo stiliukas nuostabus! Tie raudoni marškinukai ir koža kažkas tookio! *-* P.s : Tokius pačius batus aš taip pat tuuriu! 🙂

    September 24, 2016 at 8:22 PM Reply
  • sara nena

    September 25, 2016 at 5:20 PM Reply
  • Zaria @ Past Life Regression Chicago

    Hello Julija,

    From your words, I can totally feel the nostalgia and then yearning for a soulmate. The truth is that soulmates show up in our lives to teach us a lesson. If we are not ready, we will only feel that we lost them. If you think about it, they make us understand what we really want from a committed partner and a true lover. Now when it comes to your outfit, I totally love it! The plaid shirt and the leather jackets are my favorite pieces.

    It was a pleasure connecting with you today! Wishing you all the best!

    Zaria

    April 6, 2017 at 9:09 PM Reply

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